


Maybe the internet raised us. (Or maybe people are jerks.)

by secretly_a_savior



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: (Tony Stark Gets A Hug), Alternate Universe - College/University, College, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, I Love You, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, SHIELD University, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 20:37:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4363373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretly_a_savior/pseuds/secretly_a_savior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I love you"<br/>--<br/>college AU/Shield University.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe the internet raised us. (Or maybe people are jerks.)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so there's QUITE A FEW NOTES before you get to the fic itself so BUCKLE DOWN, KIDS.
> 
> ok so first; the #1 complaint with this fic, i can hear it already is 'IF THIS IS A COLLEGE AU THEN WHY THE ARC REACTOR?" so here's why: (mlg airhorns play over a long-winded speech). 
> 
> This is based on the Go For The Gold RP AU 'The 'Ol College Try.  
> (( http://arcreacted.tumblr.com/collegetry )) and if you don't feel like sifting through the literal 100s of RP posts, here's the excerpt where Tony explains it:
> 
> \\\“When I was like, 12, maybe 13, I don’t know- I went on vacation with my parents and we traveled the Middle East. We were in an accident- not even really a bad one- and I’m really not sure what happened but I landed in the hospital.” He paused. He hated telling this story.
> 
> “it wasn’t even the accident that caused this. It was a botched procedure of some sort; They said I was gonna die- there was no way I’d live long enough to get the transplant i needed; and a fake heart wasn’t going to cut it. My father, though, has his foot in the door in the medical research community. So they tried this; I don’t know. It’s worked so far…” //  
> \--  
> Texts are of course in the [TEXT; o/i; CONTACT] format, o being 'outgoing', i being 'incoming'.  
> \--  
> The events of this fic take place before "I AIN'T WITH IT" and "THIS SUMMER'S GONNA HURT"  
> \--  
> Beta'd by Sugarlump

Maria Stark was dead. It was the end of Tony Stark's freshman year and all he could think about was his mother. A source of support and love for Tony where his father never could be- not that she was perfect in any sense of the word- but that didn't matter. She didn't think of him as some sort of disgusting failure, she didn't hate him. She didn't fly into town just to make one too many gay quips and leave without saying _'I love you, Son'._ The combination of the loss of Maria and his growing contempt for Howard was throwing everything off for Tony. He _**missed** _ his mother, and coming to terms with irrevocable loss was a task that even prodigies struggled with.

He lay in the top bunk of the bunk beds that sat in the far right corner of he and Bruce Banner's dorm, sobs racking through his body quietly- so as not to wake up the other. (And so the other wouldn't hear him cry.) He was dressed in sweats that hugged his hips- and nothing else. He'd gone to bed in pajamas but it was just too hot and he was tossing and turning too much for conventional sleep-clothes to be comfortable. It wasn't actually hot but he sweat when he was nervous and upset. His stomach was doing flips and his bed was just too empty to hold someone with a brain just too full of troubling thoughts. He couldn't sleep without a blanket because the cold sweats got to him and he shivered, and with a blanket it was hotter than hell's fires.

There was no winning for Tony.

A car accident killed her- **_a drunk driver_** , and when he closed his eyes _all he could see and hear in his head_ was metal hitting metal, the screams of his mother, the **screech** of rubber on asphalt. The earth shattering crash! of bent metal and broken glass. The fucking idiot that hit her Porsche with a Ford F-150 was so wasted, according to his relatively unscathed father, that they 'didn't know how he got the key in the ignition'. **Well he fucking did** , and he killed Tony's mother, and for that Tony held him responsible; alcohol or not. He hadn't slept since his mother's funeral on Friday, seeing her just made it _**real**_. Made things worse for him really. He thought funerals were supposed to bring closure.

What day was it now? _ **Oh-**_ Friday again. It'd been a week and he hadn't gotten any shut-eye- he was exhausted. Beyond exhausted, actually.

Exhausted what what Tony felt when he pulled an all-nighter pouring over a physics textbook. Exhausted is what Tony feels after a long night class. Exhausted was when Tony needed to finish a project or stayed up tinkering with an invention. This? This was way beyond that. He was mentally and physically on the brink of a break; hence the tears, the cold sweat, his pounding head, the _everything._ He was going to snap: and that wasn't good when finals were creeping up- even for a genius that'd only failed a test once in his life.

He briefly remembers a fight he had with Steve surrounding Tony's alcohol consumption- at parties and wherever else. Steve was worried it'd become a problem and he'd lose Tony. At the time it seemed ridiculous, controlling, even- now though? He got it. He totally understood. His mind, though, quickly went from the fight to just _**Steve**_. Without even thinking, the crying teen slid easily from his bed. He slid down the ladder- calloused feet meeting no resistance- and landed with a dull _***thump***_. The noise woke Bruce-but the only light came from three blue L.E.Ds in the auto-resuscitation circuit reactor (or, AR C Reactor) embedded in Tony's chest, so he wasn't worried about the other seeing his puffy still-crying eyes. He kept quiet though, trying not to sniffle.

  
Bruce barely managed a stammered out "Tony what're y-" before Tony had already pulled his keys and was out the door. He didn't go very _far_ out the door, in fact he was already practically at his destination when he heard the familiar _'click'_ of his own dorm's door shutting and locking itself. Using the blue and red painted key, he let himself into Steve's dorm room- his tired thoughts still not quite catching up to his actions. Bucky and Steve didn't have bunk-beds, they had two small beds, one on either side of the room, one desk in the middle serving as a workstation and a nightstand for them both. Tony immediately thought it might upset Bucky, sneaking in like this, but then immediately retorted his own thought with _**fuck him**_ , _I need my boyfriend._

He crossed the room, tired feet dragging across the carpeted floor. He nudged Steve gently, not even waiting for the other to wake up before climbing over Steve and into the small bed. He felt like a small child who'd had nightmares and crawled into bed with their parents to make them subside. Steve awoke with a quiet grunt and turned onto his side. "Tony what the _hell_ are you doing? If the R.A, or anyone el-" he cut himself off sharply, looking closely at Tony as his eyes adjusted to the low light- he was weeping. "Oh." was all he could manage, feeling bad immediately.  It was something Steve'd never seem before. Silent tears falling down the other's face. tremors running through his frame with each sob. Steve's irritated face changed to one of understanding and concern, and he wrapped himself tightly around Tony- who really didn't fit on the small bed when they were both lying down, but Steve'd be damned if he'd kick the other out in the state he was in.

He looked so vulnerable like that- crying, his hair messed, his features sunken deeper than the Titanic, and none of the high-end clothing and accessories that usually made Tony seem untouchable and perfect. It killed Steve to see Tony so hurt- he'd seen Tony in every other state, but here he was really baring his soul. The intimacy of it surprised Steve- usually when Tony was upset he got clingy, but when he was this upset he just shut himself out, locking himself in his dorm and losing himself in schoolwork, too-loud music serving as a warning sign for anyone who _ **dared** _ approach him. Steve let a hand run through Tony's hair and a soft 'shh' leave his lips, attempting to sooth the other. Tony's breaths were deep and shaky and his eyes wide as Steve peppered tired kisses gently over the geniuses nose, temples and cheeks.

Usually, insecurities would fill Tony right about now. He would curse himself for waking the other- he'd swear he was the worst person to ever walk planet earth. He'd feel bad for not being strong enough to hold his tears in- for making Steve feel bad. He'd feel like absolute shit for straining Steve at all when his shoulder was still wrapped in tight bandages from the football accident. He'd probably have scurried back to his room, apologizing profusely all the way- but in this moment, strong arms, gentle hands, soothing words and gently placed kisses were what he needed. He needed reassurance, needed comfort, and most pressingly, he needed sleep. There was a time and place for self-pity, and now wasn't either- Steve was glad that _**even Tony**_ had to realize that sometimes.

Soon enough the teary-eyed brunet drifted to a comfortable sleep, and Steve did too. It was a content sleep; they were both totally wrapped up in each other: Tony's leg thrown over Steve's, Steve's arm around the other's waist. They were forehead-to-forehead, and Tony even looked to be smiling. They were still like that in the morning, and one Bucky Barnes happened to find this extremely amusing when he woke up. He snickered- he hadn't even noticed Tony come in last night. He grabbed his phone from his side of the desk, flipped the mute switch so as not to wake them with the shutter noise, and took a picture, standing so he could get a good angle.

**[GROUP TEXT; o; #squad] Nice.**

**[GROUP TEXT; o; #squad] ATTACHMENT; 1 PHOTO**

Bucky got dressed after that, deciding to go for a morning run to leave Steve and Tony privacy when they woke up- and to avoid the inevitable (and deserved) slap he'd receive for texting Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Thor, and to be fair Steve and Tony a copy of that picture. Not too long after Bucky left, Steve awoke and stirred slightly, waking Tony accidentally. Tony yawned, eyes wide with fear very very briefly until he remembered where he was. "Oh.." he breathed out quietly, a laugh escaping him. Steve's eyes lit up, seeing his tired boyfriend feeling a bit better. He didn't move though- absorbing the moment, the sun filtering in through his dusty dorm window framed Tony so perfectly. 

"You okay?" Steve asked, concern filling the body of his tired voice, barely audible over the whirring and clicking of the A/C. The night before- or, early this morning flooded back to Steve in bits and pieces. Tony just nodded with a quiet hum. He was more than okay now. He was of course still broken over the loss of his mother, the absolute disregard he received from his father... but right now? In this very moment Anthony Stark felt like everything _had the potential to be alright_. Also, here, in this moment, Tony felt something **light** in the pit of his stomach that he knew he was now absolutely sure of- and it struck him like a ton of bricks. 

"Steve?" he asked, his voice hesitant and hazy- he angled his neck so he could look right into Steve's eyes as he spoke. He felt a familiar hand still tangled in his locks.

"Hmm?"

 _"I love you."_ There was a good two minutes of stunned silence. It was the first time either of them had said it- there was always a hesitance before. A nervousness, or something. Neither of them had said it, Steve hadn't said it because he didn't know how Tony would react, and Tony hadn't said it because he didn't want to set himself up for heartbreak. Didn't want the other to react negatively. Steve wasn't out yet- and the only times they were really affectionate like this were private moments- around each other or their close circle of friends. That most of all made Tony nervous. His anxiousness grew as Steve didn't react, but finally a wide grin spread across Steve's previously-shocked face.

_"I love you too, Tony."_


End file.
